1 00:00:10,276 --> 00:00:12,612 - Hello, Whitlock students. I'm Mr. Pugh. 2 00:00:12,645 --> 00:00:15,248 And I'm very excited to invite you 3 00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:16,683 to join the Toledo chapter 4 00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:19,185 of Ohio Naturalists. 5 00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,254 The program offers hands-on learning 6 00:00:21,287 --> 00:00:23,523 and a chance to become a citizen scientist. 7 00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:24,791 [bee buzzing] Oh, hello, Mr. Bee. 8 00:00:24,824 --> 00:00:26,292 Oh. 9 00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:27,427 Looks like somebody wants to get on camera. 10 00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:30,630 Uh, this year, we're going on an overnight field trip 11 00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:33,299 to Swan Creek Preserve Metropark-- 12 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,401 the bees are back. Ah. 13 00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:36,603 Brought a friend. Or two. 14 00:00:36,636 --> 00:00:38,605 Uh, you know, bees are actually-- 15 00:00:38,638 --> 00:00:39,673 they're very friendly. 16 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,675 They--they know not to attack 17 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,743 unless they're feeling threatened or-- 18 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,612 [yelps] Bananas! 19 00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:47,347 Got me. 20 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,882 Sometimes they get confused, but... 21 00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,216 Owee. 22 00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,584 [laughs awkwardly] 23 00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:54,688 Oh, well, uh... 24 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:58,391 We will, uh, embark on a variety of activities. 25 00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:01,227 Uh, from bird counts to stream sampling. 26 00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,730 Plant identi-- please go away from-- 27 00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:04,764 [crunches] 28 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,233 Oh, no. 29 00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:09,202 I stepped on a goose nest. 30 00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:12,205 Oh. Its babies. 31 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,674 I squished them. Oh, no. 32 00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,142 Go away! 33 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,778 - ♪ Next time, I'll listen to my heart ♪ 34 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:21,781 ♪ Next time, well, I'll be smart ♪ 35 00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:28,688 ♪ 36 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,891 Aw, God. Would you please stop? 37 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,393 I'm nice. 38 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,261 - Mr. Pugh asked me to edit that out, 39 00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:37,297 but I do not know how to do that. 40 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:38,398 [bell ringing] Okay, Rams. 41 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:39,766 Get ready to grab the day by-- 42 00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:41,234 - When you're in the wild, 43 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,802 if you need to heighten your sense of smell, 44 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,904 you lick your fingers and wet your nostrils. 45 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,240 Like so. 46 00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,510 - Like, if I'm a wolf? 47 00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:53,346 And I wanna sniff out a fat bunny? 48 00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:00,220 Hm. 49 00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:01,421 - All right. 50 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,523 Begin shutting your mouths up. 51 00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:05,558 I cannot believe I'm saying this, 52 00:02:05,592 --> 00:02:08,261 but Sarika is now my favorite. 53 00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,597 Yeah--her aunt wants to publish my book, 54 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,366 "The Pursuit of Happiness Through Societal Regression." 55 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,301 We're meeting for dinner tonight at Mansy's. 56 00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,370 - Mansy's is very romantic. 57 00:02:17,404 --> 00:02:19,239 I took Sarah, my college girlfriend, there. 58 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:20,940 - Oh! You gave her a name! 59 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,809 Nice! But this is not a date. 60 00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:25,845 - Besides, my aunt only goes for guys who drive BMWs. 61 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,313 Not driver's ed cars. 62 00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:29,983 - And Heather's back to being my favorite. 63 00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:31,785 - Don't call it a comeback. 64 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,387 - Okay. Yeah. 65 00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,222 So I guess the only question that remains is 66 00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:37,590 how should I pose for the photo 67 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:39,659 on the back cover of my book, you know? 68 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:42,529 Oh. Maybe I'll hold this skull. 69 00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:44,431 Like Hamlet. You know? 70 00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:45,999 But it'd be like this child's skill, 71 00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:49,336 so my hands look bigger. 72 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:52,972 You know, so my hands look bigger. 73 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:56,009 - Right. Let's hold off on that. 74 00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:57,777 - Oh, okay. 75 00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,979 - I read the first chapter of your book. 76 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,748 You're clearly a good writer. 77 00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,016 - Oh. Thanks. 78 00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:05,251 Yeah, I write to discover what I know. 79 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:08,021 That's Flannery O'Connor. 80 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,389 - Cool. 81 00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:12,392 Now, perhaps you've heard of my client, 82 00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,794 best-selling author, Robin Schwonk. 83 00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:17,297 The final book in his "Rock Bottom" trilogy, 84 00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:19,466 "Disgraced," is set to be released in three weeks. 85 00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,434 But he's having a personal trauma, 86 00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:23,303 and hasn't written it. 87 00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:25,638 His beloved Pekingese has Psoriasis. 88 00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:26,873 - [snorts] 89 00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,375 Sorry, the elbow rash stuff? 90 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,043 On a dog? [laughs] 91 00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:32,579 - We need "Disgraced" ASAP. 92 00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:35,982 We have 50,000 pre-sales, and I have spent the money. 93 00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:38,418 I finally had my shoulders done. 94 00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:40,520 - Oh, good--good. Yeah, no--sorry. 95 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:41,788 What does this have to do with my book? 96 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:43,656 - This is your book. 97 00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,825 I want you to write "Disgraced." 98 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,861 - Uh... - [scoffs] 99 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,663 "A brilliant but emotionally stunted psychopath 100 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:52,732 "is disgraced and moves home to the Midwest. 101 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:55,468 His intense shame drives him to murder." 102 00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:57,570 I mean, the main character is basically you. 103 00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,739 - No, I--I don't relate to that character at all. 104 00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,909 - Excuse me, sir. Is this your child's skull? 105 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,745 - It is. 106 00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:06,846 - I just got chills. 107 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,481 You're perfect. 108 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,684 Sarika told me you were fired from Harvard, 109 00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:13,353 and live in your dead mother's apartment. 110 00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:15,689 - Townhome. - You are "Disgraced." 111 00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:17,924 - Sorry, I live in my dead mother's townhome. 112 00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:19,693 - You'll be paid, of course. 113 00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:22,662 And if you nail this, I will do everything I can 114 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:24,764 to get your book published. 115 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:28,968 - Okay. 116 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,638 I'm in. 117 00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:32,906 [chuckling] - Ow, ow, ow, ow. 118 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,908 - Oh, oh. Shoulders. 119 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,976 - Right. - [chuckles] 120 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,345 - [laughing] 121 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:39,746 - Oh. Good morning, ladies. 122 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,348 [laughs] While you were out buying 123 00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,950 paintings of wine bottles at TJ Maxx, 124 00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:47,020 I pulled one over on the rubes who buy books at airports. 125 00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,789 I wrote a Schwonk. - Whoa. 126 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,858 You wrote a book for Robin Schwonk? 127 00:04:51,891 --> 00:04:52,959 - Mm-hmm. - Dang. 128 00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:55,929 I still remember reading "Bone Freaks" when I was 13. 129 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,731 That's where I learned the word "areola." 130 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:58,631 - Oh. 131 00:04:58,665 --> 00:04:59,499 - Anyway, I think you guys are gonna be 132 00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,001 the perfect audience for this, I do. 133 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,002 Check--check this out. 134 00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:03,436 "I woke up in a seedy motel. 135 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,738 [dramatic music] 136 00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,640 "What was left of the desk clerk stared back to me. 137 00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,776 Eyes vacant--" - Oh, God, stop! 138 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,778 That's giving me the creep sweats. 139 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:14,014 - Hey, creep sweats are the panties thrown on stage 140 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,148 of horror writing, so. 141 00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:16,149 - [laughs] - Jesus, Jack. 142 00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:17,617 It's 8:00 in the morning. 143 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,019 - Yeah, oh, sorry. I haven't slept. 144 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,653 - Uh-uh. You know what you see. 145 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:23,723 That is exactly why he's listed in my "If I Go Missing" kit. 146 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,558 - What's an "If I Go Missing" kit? 147 00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,927 - So it is a kit that you make for the police 148 00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,062 in case you go missing. 149 00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:31,531 And inside it has all your passwords, 150 00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:34,467 your DNA, a recent photo of you for the news, 151 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:38,071 and a list of men you think might wanna kill or kidnap you. 152 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:39,639 Every lady needs one. 153 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,174 - Except me because I'm microchipped. 154 00:05:41,207 --> 00:05:45,011 However, I did make a "If Durbin Goes Missing" kit. 155 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,847 And just for your information, it is in this drawer here. 156 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,049 And it is always locked. 157 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,184 Nope. Not locked. 158 00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:52,719 All right. Let me show you. 159 00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:53,853 all: Ooh. 160 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,889 Very top secret. 161 00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,491 I've got a blood sample. 162 00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,660 I won't tell you what hole that came out of. 163 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,529 - Michelle, the point is 164 00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:04,931 you needed a kit like yesterday, okay? 165 00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:06,733 Like, watch a "Dateline." 166 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,037 - Well. Kiddos. 167 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:14,040 This weekend, I crapped out a Robin Schwonk novel. 168 00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,209 [laughs] 169 00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:18,611 - Uh, all due respect, boss. 170 00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:20,580 Robin Schwonk doesn't use ghost writers. 171 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,182 - Well, this is a one-time thing, Heather. 172 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,484 He's in a dark place right now. 173 00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,519 Apparently his dog. has Psoriasis 174 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,188 - Millie? Oh, no. 175 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,222 - Mm-hmm. 176 00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,825 [phone ringing] 177 00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:34,127 Hello? - Jack Griffin. 178 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,162 Hey. Robin Schwonk. 179 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:39,065 I just finished reading your draft of "Disgraced." 180 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,600 - You did? Great. 181 00:06:40,633 --> 00:06:42,002 [mouthing words] 182 00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,236 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 183 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,805 - No let me ask you something. 184 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,241 Do you like messing with me? 185 00:06:48,274 --> 00:06:52,178 'Cause I just finished wiping my ass with that pile of shit. 186 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,047 Have you even read any of my trilogies? 187 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,849 'Cause this is nothing like my work. 188 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,051 I'm not gonna put my name on this, you little piggie! 189 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,219 - Next. - Hold on. 190 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,854 Hello, sweetie. 191 00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:02,589 I'm here to pick up Psoriasis cream 192 00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:05,158 for Millie Schwonk. 193 00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:06,726 Say, where's Margaret anyway? 194 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,894 Oh! There she is. 195 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,129 I didn't see you back there, doll. 196 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,663 How are you? 197 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,099 Well, sweetie, you look great with a tan. 198 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,901 Hawaii? Oh, well. 199 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,236 I gotta change my line of work. 200 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,904 - Hello? Wh-- 201 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:19,272 - Yeah, Jackie. 202 00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:21,074 Let's fix this. Okay, bud? 203 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:21,941 Let's get it done. 204 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,610 Okay. Bye-bye now. 205 00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:26,212 - Oh-- [call disconnects] 206 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,981 Well. 207 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,517 There's eight hours of work down the drain. 208 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,025 - So he hated it, huh? 209 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,294 Well you did say you crapped it out, so, 210 00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,830 you know, that had me worried since Jump Street. 211 00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:46,266 - Marcus, go stick your hand in the window sill. 212 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,968 Dan, slam the window down on it as hard as you can. 213 00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,637 - Okay, you know I can't do that, Mr. G. 214 00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:51,905 - Come on, boss. 215 00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:54,107 You gotta have thick skin in the writing biz. 216 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,577 I have had ten stories rejected by the "Whitlock Gazette," 217 00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,713 And I'm "friends with the editor." 218 00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:00,780 - I told you. 219 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,682 We don't publish mature content. 220 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:03,850 - [sighs] Fact. 221 00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:05,852 Two of the greatest minds on the planet, 222 00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:07,921 Schwonk and Griffin, are teaming up. 223 00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:10,557 And I, Heather Marie Willmore, 224 00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:13,093 will be able to help them both. 225 00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,128 We can fix this, comrade. 226 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,830 Let's do it for Millie. 227 00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,131 - Who's Mille again? 228 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,200 - That's Schwonk's Psoriasis dog. 229 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:23,837 - I think the millionaire's ashy bitch is gonna be okay. 230 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:26,639 - I have Psoriasis, but no one's worried about me. 231 00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:30,710 You all won't even look at me! 232 00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,780 Look at me! 233 00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,350 - I did a lot of photos 234 00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:38,785 for my "If I Go Missing" kit, 235 00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,653 because let's be honest. 236 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,255 You don't know what state you're gonna be in 237 00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:43,890 if and when the police find you. 238 00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,993 So, this is if I've been missing in the woods 239 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,795 for a couple weeks. Mm! 240 00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,131 Here's if I've disappeared from a cruise ship. 241 00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:52,332 - Oh. - Oh! 242 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,334 And this is if I get taken 243 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,036 from an award ceremony. 244 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,904 And if I'm found dead at the ceremony. 245 00:08:57,937 --> 00:08:59,673 - Oh. - Oh, cute, right? 246 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,741 - Now, I went ahead and left instructions for my funeral. 247 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:03,710 - Oh. - Yes. 248 00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:06,780 "First, my silky-voiced cousin Reggie will read my eulogy. 249 00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,214 "But if he's no longer with us, 250 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,050 "I guess my sister, Angela, can do it. 251 00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,718 "But please tell her to focus. 252 00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:13,753 Because her S's can be too lazy." 253 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:14,921 - Mm-hmm. - Wow. 254 00:09:14,954 --> 00:09:16,956 I can't even think of anyone 255 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,659 for my list of men who are likely to kidnap or kill me. 256 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:20,860 I'm-- both: Keith. 257 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,929 - Like, 100% Keith. - Your husband, Keith. 258 00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,064 - Like, Keith would absolutely kill you. 259 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,065 - Keith will be the one to murder you. 260 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:26,332 [both laugh] - It'll be Keith. 261 00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,634 - In the dead of the night. 262 00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:30,904 - It's always the husband, Michelle. 263 00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,972 - Um, just curious. 264 00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:36,009 Uh, did one of you happen to sneak into my email, 265 00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:38,678 and send a funny but hurtful message 266 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:39,946 to the whole school from my account? 267 00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:42,148 - Oh. You mean this email that says, 268 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,751 "I HAVE A DIRTY BUTT" in call caps? 269 00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:46,152 [all laughing] 270 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,053 - That's funny. 271 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,855 For the record, my butt is very clean. 272 00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,090 Okay? - Oh. 273 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,224 - You know--you know the commercial where-- 274 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,959 where the dirty dish gets dunked 275 00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:53,993 into the warm, soapy water, 276 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,962 and when it comes out, all the food comes off? 277 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,797 Well, same situation back there. 278 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,666 It's spotless. 279 00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,735 I--I'm a little cocky about it. 280 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,737 - Durbs, you got hacked, okay? 281 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,672 You need to change all of your passwords. 282 00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:07,707 - I'm locked out, okay? Look. 283 00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,876 If one of you is pranking me, I'm totally cool with it. 284 00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:12,078 I can take a dirty butt joke as well as the next guy. 285 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,781 Maybe even better because mine is so clean. 286 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,218 [all chanting] Show us, show us, 287 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,086 show us, show us! 288 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,388 - [laughing] 289 00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,856 - I don't know. 290 00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,257 I--I still feel like he can kill the janitor 291 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,258 just for the hell of it. 292 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,861 - No, if this is gonna be a bona fide Schwonk, 293 00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:30,230 the murder can't just be a bad guy, boss. 294 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,332 He has to be possessed by something. 295 00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,901 - Maybe he's possessed by a dead altar boy. 296 00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:37,437 I was for a while. That's how I know Latin. 297 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,773 Spiritus cadem m-- 298 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,841 - Don't let her finish! 299 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,276 - Okay, guys, 300 00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:46,780 Robin Schwonk never vilifies animals or children, okay? 301 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,315 He's not just a genius. He is a good man. 302 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,984 Now think. 303 00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:53,753 What is the killer possessed by? 304 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,755 It should be something in nature. 305 00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,891 - Pinecone. 306 00:10:57,924 --> 00:11:00,093 - What's that, Yuyao? Pinecone? 307 00:11:00,126 --> 00:11:02,796 Did you just say pinecone, Yuyao? 308 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:03,897 - Acorn. 309 00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:05,298 - Yuyao. - Oh, my God. 310 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,099 [overlapping chatter] 311 00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:09,035 - That's terrible. - Aww, Yuyao. 312 00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,437 Still better than what Marcus said though. 313 00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,806 - I didn't say anything yet. - I got it, okay. 314 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,507 What if the disgraced teacher 315 00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,176 is swimming during a full moon, 316 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,279 and gets possessed by a demon lake? 317 00:11:19,312 --> 00:11:21,915 And then he gives the corpses of his murder victims 318 00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:23,416 to the lake as a gift. 319 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,118 - Oh. That's good. 320 00:11:25,151 --> 00:11:27,387 - Y'all are creepy as hell. 321 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:30,290 This is why I don't join your Naturalists camping club. 322 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:33,093 I'd be getting a nice char on my s'more. 323 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,160 And bam! 324 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,528 I get a hatchet to the neck. 325 00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:37,364 [coughs] 326 00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:41,901 - That's good. - Write that down. 327 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,169 - Yeah. 328 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,071 - Can we please stop summoning evil toward us? 329 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,307 - That's it. An evil tortoise. 330 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,175 He's possessed by an evil tortoise. 331 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,543 [bell ringing] - Okay, this is good. 332 00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:51,544 This is good stuff. Yeah. 333 00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:52,879 I mean, not the tortoise thing, 334 00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:54,214 or anything Marcus has been saying, 335 00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,882 but, you know, the Heather stuff. 336 00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:57,951 Yeah. Nice. 337 00:11:57,984 --> 00:12:00,186 [keyboard playing through headphones] 338 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,489 - ♪ And please water my ferns 339 00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:03,923 ♪ When I go to Cabo 340 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,358 Hey. Hey. 341 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:09,195 - Sorry, uh, I've been sent by the hacker. 342 00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:10,463 [keyboard plays note] 343 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:11,965 - They get your passwords too? 344 00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,134 - He or she got into my Minecraft, 345 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,202 and broke my smoke cabin. 346 00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:20,140 - Did your wolves get out? 347 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,210 - They said that the only way for me to get my life back 348 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:26,312 is if I read you this note. 349 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,250 "Principal Durbin, 350 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,419 "If you want access to your email, 351 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,120 "you have to let 352 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:37,123 "everyone in Ohio Naturalists 353 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,459 "go on the overnight field trip, 354 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:43,329 whether or not they have a permission slip." 355 00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,998 - Damn it! 356 00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:47,167 This psycho is asking for my integrity. 357 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,070 - Yeah, it's such a-- such a bummer, huh? 358 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,205 - You don't know what they took from me, Vic. 359 00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:55,542 20 years of precious emails from my ex-wife, Brenda. 360 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:59,145 Including the one where she accepted my marriage proposal. 361 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,281 There's gotta be something I can do. 362 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,149 - There's only one other option, 363 00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:06,052 but it--it's too horrible to even say. 364 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,287 [tense music] 365 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,422 During the announcements tomorrow, 366 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,292 "You have to wash your dirty butt 367 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:16,029 with the chemistry class's eye-washing station." 368 00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:18,431 The whole field trip permission slip thing 369 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,066 doesn't sound that bad. 370 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,935 Like, comparatively. 371 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,004 - Go now. 372 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,438 Leave me. 373 00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:30,510 ♪ 374 00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,645 - [sighs] Morning, Heather. 375 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,248 I was up all night, 376 00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:37,517 but I sent your changes in at 6 a.m. and it's good. 377 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:38,918 It's really good. 378 00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:40,153 I think Schwonk is gonna love it. 379 00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,055 And then it's on to my book, so. 380 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:44,157 [phone ringing] Oh. 381 00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,659 All right. It's your boy. 382 00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:50,196 [dramatic music] Here we go. 383 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,532 Mr. Schwonk, what'd you think? 384 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:55,068 - Hey, Jack! I gotta tell you. 385 00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,003 I am very impressed. 386 00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,204 Very impressed. 387 00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,339 In fact, I think you've invented 388 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:01,274 a whole new genre of literature. 389 00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:04,010 And I would call it "shit lit!" 390 00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:06,546 He gets possessed by a demon lake? 391 00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,581 What the hell is a demon lake? 392 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:11,317 Did an ignorant child write this? 393 00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:15,088 A lake isn't scary, 'cause you can just get away from it. 394 00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:17,957 A river. Now, a river is scary. 395 00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:20,360 Because it moves. It follows you. 396 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,294 Oh! 397 00:14:21,327 --> 00:14:22,696 And then the murderer gets possessed 398 00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,464 while he's swimming? 399 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:27,167 I already wrote that in my "Underwater Demon" trilogy. 400 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,502 Why would I plagiarize myself, you ass? 401 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:33,540 I'd be ruined! This is donkey crap! 402 00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,508 Okay. Bye-bye now. 403 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,411 - I forgot about the "Underwater Demon" trilogy. 404 00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,313 I don't know why I thought my ideas were good enough. 405 00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,682 - No, your ideas are good. Okay? 406 00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:44,551 In fact, they're too good for him. 407 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,252 So we're keeping the book, all right? 408 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,487 Schwonk can't have it. 409 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,723 - Excuse me, Jackie. I'm still here. 410 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,258 Couldn't hang up 'cause I'm eating a hard shell taco. 411 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,127 That's a two-handed operation. 412 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,996 [laughs] Jackie, baby. 413 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,264 Schwonk can't have it? 414 00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:01,668 Schwonk gets whatever Schwonk wants. 415 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,670 Nobody knows your name. 416 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,305 And they never will! 417 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,007 Oopsie. Honey? 418 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,174 I'm gonna need a napkin. 419 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,110 No, Wendy, the meat's delicious. 420 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,444 It's just wet. 421 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:14,381 Jack, make it right, and fix the bad parts! 422 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,283 Get this done or your little book will never get published! 423 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:20,020 Oh, honey, I'm gonna need another napkin. 424 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,187 All right. Thanks, Jack. 425 00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,023 Appreciate it. Bye-bye now. 426 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,324 Bye-bye. 427 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,495 - I'm sorry, boss. 428 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,196 I let you down. 429 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,232 [tense music] 430 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,039 - Make it right and fix the bad parts! 431 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:40,073 [distorted] Jackie. 432 00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:41,675 Okay, bye-bye now. 433 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:42,676 [thunder cracks] 434 00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,310 - Keith! 435 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,179 - Your husband, Keith. - 100% Keith. 436 00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:48,181 It's always the husband, Michelle. 437 00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:51,017 ♪ 438 00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,253 - [all chanting] Show us, show us, show us! 439 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,121 - I have a dirty butt! 440 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,424 - [laughing] 441 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,660 - I'm here to pick up Psoriasis cream 442 00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:02,729 for Millie Schwonk. 443 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,801 Did an ignorant child write this? 444 00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:11,504 This is donkey crap! 445 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,584 - Love you. - Love you too. 446 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:31,157 - Why would I plagiarize myself, you ass? 447 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,593 I'd be ruined! 448 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:36,563 - And then it's on to my book. 449 00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,398 [thunder cracks] 450 00:16:38,431 --> 00:16:40,200 [suspenseful music] 451 00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,635 [whoosh] 452 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,372 - Is someone there? 453 00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:46,706 [dramatic sting] 454 00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,241 - Plagiarism, boss. 455 00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:50,110 - Jesus, Heather. 456 00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,478 You need to use the doorbell. 457 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,813 - He said no one would ever know your name. 458 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,248 Let's prove him wrong. 459 00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:58,151 Let's have Schwonk plagiarize Griffin. 460 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,153 - Yes. That is brilliant. 461 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,255 - It's a plagiarism time bomb. 462 00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,457 When it explodes, Schwonk will be ruined, 463 00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,559 and the world will know your name. 464 00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:09,162 [thunder cracks] 465 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,331 [bell rings] 466 00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,236 - Oh! 467 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:19,139 - We out-Schwonk-ed Schwonk last night. 468 00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:22,442 - We planted passages from my book into his manuscript. 469 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,611 So as soon as he goes to print, we'll expose him. 470 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,280 - Mr. Griffin's name will be everywhere. 471 00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,249 His book will fly off the shelves. 472 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,684 - [chuckles] 473 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,452 - Well there's not really a market for philosophy books. 474 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:35,121 If anything, Malcolm Gladwell's sociology books 475 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:36,322 kind of scratch that itch, 476 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,324 but maybe I'm just 477 00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,226 an outlier. 478 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,595 - Anyone--can anyone please 479 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,898 slam Marcus's fingers into the window sill? 480 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,266 - Maybe I could. 481 00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:49,235 - Looks like you guys have reached your 482 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,303 tipping point. 483 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,839 - Oh. - [sighs] 484 00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,240 [phone ringing] - Oh. 485 00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,308 Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. 486 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,409 Wait. 487 00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:57,877 Ugh, it's Schwonk. 488 00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,379 Um-- - Oh, put it on speaker. 489 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,414 - Yeah Okay. 490 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:04,250 Ugh. All right. 491 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,186 - Hey, Jack. Its Schwonk. 492 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,387 Great news. 493 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,222 You passed the test. You won. 494 00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,658 - Won what? - Everything. 495 00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,393 Well, that's why I was so hard on you, son. 496 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,861 I had to make sure you were up to the task. 497 00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,396 Don't you get it? 498 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,831 You're Schwonk now. 499 00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,499 - Oh, uh... 500 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,401 Wow, this took a weird turn. Um... 501 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,936 - You're gonna write a lot of novels, 502 00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:25,238 and I can finally retire. 503 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,473 Sorry, hang on a second, Jack. 504 00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:27,807 Excuse me, pal. 505 00:18:27,841 --> 00:18:29,209 Get your hand out of my freaking pocket. 506 00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:30,610 - Uh, Schwonk, you okay? 507 00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:33,246 - Hey, Jack, Christ, I think I'm getting robbed here. 508 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,547 [struggling] 509 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:35,949 - Don't fight it. Just--just let them have-- 510 00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:37,550 - All right, all right. Take whatever you want. 511 00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,219 That--no, not the Psoriasis cream! 512 00:18:39,252 --> 00:18:40,620 Jack, I gotta go. 513 00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:41,888 Okay, buddy. Remember--you're Schwonk now. 514 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,423 Okay, all right. Talk soon, bye-bye. 515 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,491 No, no. it's for my dog! 516 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:45,625 [call disconnects] 517 00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:46,659 - Of course. 518 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,962 He was pulling a Willy Wonka. 519 00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:50,563 [both chuckle] 520 00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:51,531 - Huh. 521 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:53,433 - Students and faculty. 522 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,968 You are about to witness something 523 00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,770 you will not be able to unsee. 524 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,939 - Oh, no! 525 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,708 - What I'm about to do, 526 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:04,511 I do to regain access to the precious memories 527 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:05,945 in my hacked email account. 528 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:09,315 Memories which include, but are not limited to, 529 00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:11,484 a picture of me and my ex-wife 530 00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,586 backstage with Adam Levine. 531 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,356 Adam was as gracious as you would expect him to be. 532 00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,725 Especially given his legacy of musc-- 533 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:19,926 - Ralph. 534 00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:22,328 The water is at temperature. 535 00:19:22,362 --> 00:19:24,264 - [exhales deeply] 536 00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:27,000 [suspenseful music] 537 00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:29,235 [exhales] 538 00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:31,004 - Wait, stop, stop! It was me. 539 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,539 I'm the blackmailer. 540 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,474 I didn't think you would actually go through with it. 541 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,875 - Oh, thank God! 542 00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:38,812 Show's over. Grab the day by the horns! 543 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,747 Bye. 544 00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,349 - It was you? 545 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,351 But how did you do it? 546 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,919 - Well, I asked Ms. Damarcus 547 00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,587 for my homeroom attendance folder, 548 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:49,489 and she gave me this. 549 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,524 It has, like, all of your passwords in it. 550 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,560 - [gasps] God. 551 00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:54,694 It's all my fault. 552 00:19:54,728 --> 00:19:55,929 - I'm so sorry, it's just-- 553 00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:58,698 my mom won't let me go on the Ohio Naturalists field trip. 554 00:19:58,732 --> 00:20:00,567 And Mr. Pugh lets boys and girls sleep together 555 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,901 in the same lodge. 556 00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:03,503 And you can zip your sleeping bag up with a girl. 557 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,871 And if I don't go, 558 00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:07,040 Eduardo might zip his sleeping bag up with Grace's! 559 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,641 - Oh, my God. 560 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:11,011 I didn't know Mr. Pugh allowed teenage co-bagging. 561 00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,879 That trip is cancelled! 562 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,815 - [laughs] What an elegant solution. 563 00:20:15,849 --> 00:20:17,384 [laughs] 564 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:20,286 Anyway, we cool? 565 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,988 - No, we're not cool! 566 00:20:22,022 --> 00:20:25,425 You have in-school suspension. Two weeks. 567 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:26,659 [bell rings] 568 00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:28,361 - Hello. Hey, hey, hey. 569 00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:29,529 Look at this, kiddos. 570 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,398 Look--look what Robin Schwonk sent. 571 00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,799 His--his book came out. 572 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:35,035 So, you know, he sent us a gift package. 573 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:38,872 He also texted me a, uh, picture of his boat. 574 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:42,008 It said, "Feel free to use the yacht anytime, Jackie. 575 00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:43,677 Okay, gotta go. Bye!" 576 00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,545 - Maybe no one will notice the plagiarism. 577 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:48,915 - [exhales] 578 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:51,084 - You don't think anyone will notice how the murderer talks? 579 00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,652 - Hm? 580 00:20:52,686 --> 00:20:54,320 - I wrapped my hands around his neck. 581 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:56,356 He pleaded, "Help me, God." 582 00:20:56,389 --> 00:20:58,358 I sneered, "God is a construct 583 00:20:58,391 --> 00:20:59,559 "for those who must pretend 584 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:01,561 "that the minutia of their daily patheticism 585 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:04,464 ends in a great reward--Heaven." 586 00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,466 Marcus's frail body went limp. 587 00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:07,801 [phone ringing] - Up, it's Schwonk. 588 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,102 Uh, okay. [dramatic music] 589 00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:10,937 Hey. - So. 590 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,906 You tried to mount me. 591 00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,507 But I caught ya. 592 00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:15,675 Yeah. 593 00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:17,110 I bought the rights to your book. 594 00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:18,945 [laughs] 595 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,815 Yeah, you can't fool me 'cause I'm a god damn fox, Jackie. 596 00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,416 What? Oh. 597 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,719 Hi. Table for two, please. 598 00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:27,854 No, I didn't make a reservation. 599 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,622 What about that empty table right there? 600 00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:31,691 Okay, fine. 601 00:21:31,725 --> 00:21:33,360 We'll sit at the bar. 602 00:21:33,393 --> 00:21:35,128 Oh, the bar is booked. 603 00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:38,598 Wendy, let's make a little mess in this lobby. 604 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,600 Dump out all the dirt from the plant. 605 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:41,868 Oh, it's bolted down. 606 00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,737 Well just scoop it out with your hands. 607 00:21:43,770 --> 00:21:45,672 Oh, there is room at the bar? 608 00:21:45,705 --> 00:21:47,073 Gee, how'd that happen? 609 00:21:47,107 --> 00:21:49,376 Honey, just scoop the dirt back in with your hands. 610 00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,643 Yeah, yeah. We're coming. 611 00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:51,811 We're coming! - Oh, my God. 612 00:21:51,845 --> 00:21:53,079 - You know what, Jack? 613 00:21:53,113 --> 00:21:56,683 You could've been Schwonk, and you blew it! 614 00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:57,684 - Wait-- - Okay? 615 00:21:57,717 --> 00:21:58,785 Talk soon. Bye-bye. 616 00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,854 [call disconnects] 617 00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:03,490 - Well, so much for my book. [sighs] 618 00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:05,925 Or hanging out on a yacht. 619 00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:13,433 - You stood by me, Captain. 620 00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:16,069 You said my ideas were good. 621 00:22:16,102 --> 00:22:19,439 You're my number one hero. 622 00:22:19,472 --> 00:22:21,508 I know that's not a yacht, 623 00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:23,677 but I hope it counts for something. 624 00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:25,178 [dramatic music swells, ends] 625 00:22:25,211 --> 00:22:26,513 - [exhales] 626 00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:27,647 See, Sarika? 627 00:22:27,681 --> 00:22:30,050 This is why Heather's my favorite. 628 00:22:30,083 --> 00:22:32,752 Unless you have another aunt in the publishing business? 629 00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:34,087 - No. - Just the one? 630 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:35,855 - Yeah.